'Oh, I sure am happy to see you Grandma' the little boy said to his Mothers mother. 'Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he said he would do.' 'Oh, what trick is that?', his Grandmother asked. 'I heard him say to Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit,' the little boy answered. 


'Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.'

'But that's terrible!'  The mother exclaimed, 'What was it that you didn't do?'

The little girl replied, 'My homework.'

Little Michael watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.' Why do you do that, Mommy?' he asked.

'To make myself beautiful', said his mother who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
'What's the matter?' asked little Michael, 'Giving up?'

On a kindergarten field trip to their local police station, the Duty Officer explained to the children how members of the public can help by reporting information leading to the arrest of the '10 Most Wanted' persons, with photo’s of them posted on the bulletin board. Astonished, one little boy piped up and said, “Um, why didn’t you keep them when you took their pictures?"

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the eldest sibling) answered, "Thou shall not kill." 


A little girl asked her mother, “Mommy, I know the Virgin Mary is the mother of Jesus, but who is the King James Virgin?”

 

A mother had been teaching her three-year-old the Lord's Prayer before bedtimes. One evening the little girl asked if she could finish the prayer all by herself: So she prayed, “… And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

A little boy had recently been taught about Adam and Eve in Sunday school. At his Grandma’s house he noticed a very old, big heavy Bible tucked away in an old wall cabinet. After being granted permission to open it with extreme care, he flicked over some pages and uncovered a very dry, flat, large leaf. “Grandma!” He exclaimed, “How did Adam’s clothes get in here?”

During a ceremony in a church that performs infant baptisms, a 5 year old watched as the minister said something and poured water over the baby's head. Astonished, the little girl turned to her father and asked: "Daddy, why is he brainwashing that baby?"

Further submissions are very welcome. Thank you!
Just "copy and paste" your gem onto the email form on our  Contact Us  page.